Her face is pretty like a crime scene.
I fiend for her love like morphine.
My liberty and my clarity —
On bloody knees, she crawls to me.
I’m climbing quickly into nowhere,
And taste abortions on her legs, bare.
She bleeds like a deified whore.
She swears she wants it more.
We smoked a bowl full of baby bones,
To forget sins for which we cannot atone.
Our brain cells pop.
Synapses stop.
Tranquilized, unhealing.
Cold, but still feeling,
We trip on black sunshine in a spinning room.
We dance to static dreams in this glowing tomb.
The razor blades conspire to fuck the womb.
I watch technicolor spill out the open wounds.
Baby, we live just to die this way.
Maybe dying will feel right today…
Her face, so pretty like half-eaten babies screaming,
Forever and ever, we live and we die dreaming.
You drink out of depression.
You think things never change.
You drink out of frustration.
And think the world is to blame.
But that’s your imagination,
Yeah, it’s all in your head.
Your drink is your damnation,
You’ve made your own bed,
Now it’s yours to lie in.
You dug your own grave,
Now it’s yours to die in.
Would you have known?
Could you have ever seen?
What you meant to me,
Was only everything.
But who’s laughing now?
I can tell you, it’s not me.
No, you’re laughing at how
I still wander, aimlessly.
In the dark, I’m stumbling.
Lost like a collapsed vein.
Trip and fumble, tumbling.
Lost like blue skies in the rain.
The last flower in the flood.
The weight of heavy chains.
The roots drowning in mud.
The Mistress of the Insane.
Strip me of my pride, and,
Leave me writhing in vain.
Like flowers reaching for the sky,
Leave me withering in pain.
It was a war we knew we’d never win.
A battle we should never have been in.
Victimized, at a cost we can’t afford.
It’ll always be us against the world.
When no one else cared, we had each other,
And that’s what it means for us to be brothers.
In a fight we’ll wage until the day we die,
Pushing the boundaries, side by side,
And steadfast, we will still stand,
With blades clutched in bloodied hands.
We’ll make a wish, and cast it to the skies,
“Help us through this, before one of us dies.”
And still we press forward, with our heads held high,
Taking down those who oppose until the day we die.
We bear our pain, but we keep our grins,
Enduring the suffering of never-ending sins.
Pretending to feel nothing, holding the last of our pride,
Any traces of sorrow we will wipe away and hide.
These scars are just our medals of honor, admire them well.
It’s proof that our entire lives have been a journey through hell.
And all we can do, is hold each other up, wish each other luck,
Keep each other grounded, and heal where we’ve been struck.
A steady flow of hugs and a constant stream of love,
Where one lacks the other will share their own blood.
And it’s an unbreakable bond unlike any other.
And that’s what it means for us to be brothers.
You asked what we had to give,
The very life we were given to live,
We never got to live the way we wanted,
Every memory is a thought that’s haunted.
You asked us for some sacrifice,
We fought this war with our lives,
Where others had been hurt and fell,
We continued our journey through hell.
You asked what we’ve been through,
We couldn’t begin to explain it to you,
These scars we’ve earned, we’ll never regret,
This war that we fight, no one will soon forget.
You never knew, because I never said.
I tried to explain what’s wrong in my head.
But I crumble when I fumble my words,
So I drink and stumble with unsteady nerves.
My apology is never enough, and I know,
My lack of self-esteem would never let me show
How my heartbeat skip when you touched my lips,
When you finally left, I felt my insides rip.
And then my only known defense kicked in —
My drunken haze safe haven called. I slipped in,
Fenced in, blocked off from the outside.
It happens all the time, and I never think twice,
Because I may take a fall, sinking into drinking,
But it’s worth it in the end — It’s easier than thinking.
Am I right, or am I left?
Is there even time to guess?
I’ll take what I got and run with it.
I won’t stop ‘til the bottom’s been hit.
Relapse — The bottle’s been bit.
Take another hit. We’ll drop ‘til the sunrise.
Shoot like it’s the last time, one more line,
We’ll burn down this town and inhale the smoke,
Roll it like a quarter-pound and take another toke.
But I’m running up and down, lost inside a bottle,
With no clear exit, I hit the wall at full throttle.
And there’s no stopping — I don’t know how.
With your face in my face, you want it all now.
So we’ll roll ‘til the stars start dying.
And we’ll dance ‘til we know that we’re flying.
And we’ll sing until our lungs collapse.
Until our ribs snap. Crack. Until we
Relapse — One line short of a mile long snort.
Playing lethal games but we just call it sport.
So we will break and cut this town apart,
Little lines of bone and ash, we call it art.
We’ll fuck up non-stop ‘til we puke our hearts.
So am I right or am I wrong?
Am I left or am I gone?
After all, we’re just running to the fall.
In the end, we just drop into a wall.
A sudden slip between my pathetic sedatives. A real-life script of how mistakes became our medicine.
